Suffocating darkness clings to my skin
and fills me inside, there’s no place to hide.
but my head whirrs with whys.
Why? Why? Why?
Silent tears and silent screams
but a smile pasted on
to hide the horror behind my heavy eyes.
Time stands still
but life keeps moving
Spring turns to Summer
but I’m left behind drowning in a vast ocean,
pain vice-tight and struggling to breathe.
Life can’t move on.
Who am I? Do I exist in this place where I no longer feel?
Stone cuts skin to reveal a crimson trickle
and I watch its path bleed into the ground
where you lie
for me to find my way.
But the path is blurred,
its vision comes and goes.
A beating heart and breathing lungs.
A handful of pills
and the certainty,
a momentary clarity that I can find you.
A hand tips,
a palm full.
Crumpled, crying, confused.
Scared and alone.
But loved by two others
who call out
So here I am.