Grieving

Suffocating darkness clings to my skin

and fills me inside, there’s no place to hide.

Empty heart

but my head whirrs with whys.

Why? Why? Why?

Silent tears and silent screams

but a smile pasted on

to hide the horror behind my heavy eyes.

 

Time stands still

but life keeps moving

too fast.

Spring turns to Summer

but I’m left behind drowning in a vast ocean,

pain vice-tight and struggling to breathe.

No understanding.

Life can’t move on.

 

Who am I? Do I exist in this place where I no longer feel?

Stone cuts skin to reveal a crimson trickle

and I watch its path bleed into the ground

where you lie

waiting

for me to find my way.

But the path is blurred,

its vision comes and goes.

 

A beating heart and breathing lungs.

A handful of pills

and the certainty,

a momentary clarity that I can find you.

A hand tips,

a palm full.

Swallow.

Stop.

 

Crumpled, crying, confused.

Scared and alone.

But loved by two others

who call out

for Mam.

So here I am.

Still alive.

Grieving.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s